unedited
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Book: Why Love Matters
Reading this book has honestly been life-changing. It has allowed me to locate my organism’s (mind-body) relational dysfunctionality within a framework of understanding. Allowing me to better understand myself as a whole, care for myself, and move forward in the right directions for healing. It really should be mandatory reading for all mentally disordered people…
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Mocking Telamon
Once upon a time, Great spirit took the form of Sky bird. It flew far, through many plains of being; planetary dimensions, and saw many strange and marvelous things. Through sky upon sky: through many mandala gateways, the cosmic winds are slowly enriched with the countless vibrational blessing-cursing-flavours of untold psychic pollens from many lands.…
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Distortion Field
we’re all broken, we’re all broken because the field of distortion that maps out the psyche of our personal self, either wants too much or wants too little: not able to surrender into simple alignment with what is: it is that wanting what is not that forms our hard edge with what is, that periphery…
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Defeat is Unreal
This mist of defeat does not belong to you. Let it blow away to reveal the eternally victorious. This haze of confusion; of psychological distortion does not belong to you. Let it lift: let it lift from you. Let it no longer obscure, your magnificent view of enlightened awareness, and life’s shimmering beauty, received in…
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Dear Society
Dear society, please forgive me for taking your atheist materialism so personally, for lovelessly rejecting you and mind, and being so rigidly anti-materialist. In the midst of my spiritual crisis, you mistook me in your mental hospitals as a broken organic machine that needed to be repaired. Treating my testament of selfless presence as a…
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Unclutch
So this is your person: a mind that tends towards repetitive circular thoughts, or that, in attempting to mentally digest expanded states of spiritual consciousness, gets lost in unresolvable abstract thought. Come back to the present, and don’t personalize experiences of the impersonal – they are not for thinking about it. They are not yours…
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Core self-beliefs
The accuracy of the memories is irrelevant. In fact, the original experience that was lived through with such identification and assigned so much reality that it caused you to develop a rigid and persistent core belief about yourself and the world is actually irrelevant too. All that matters is the actual nature of the inner…
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The joy of letting go
It feels so good, to give it all up, let it all go. To let go of all my conditions: my conditioned mind, and rest in the unconditioned, to rest, o just rest, in the weightless, in the formless. It feels good to let it all go, every condition, even gender identity, sexuality, masculinity, feminity,…
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A Length of Grass
A length of grass, has no ego, no id, neither happy or sad, it simply is, an irreplaceable and essential part of the total perfection of the One field. For the rest of my days, I wish to live like a length of grass.
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Formless Faceless
I am the fake. I am the false. I am but a mask of flesh, for the faceless and the fleshless. This person, this name, this form: all of these thoughts, this voice: all of these objects of awareness, perceived in simple awareness, are too complicated, too bold: strenuous statements of information within the simple,…
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False indifference
The indifference is false. So overwhelmed by inner resistance to what happened, what is, what might be, So concerned by what was not, what isn’t, what could never be, I put a lid of indifference over my fears and anxieties; my grief, sorrow, regrets too. Precisely because it does hurt so much, I tried to…
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Selfishness & Selfcare
I sort of just drift through people and places. There’s loneliness, so there is motivation to connect, but there’s something in the way. I don’t connect, so my interactions with others are transactional: I end up only using them when I need something. For functional relationships like colleagues and lovers, that’s good enough: that’s what…
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The Underground River of Life
Something has changed in me. Life: the flames of life: the water of life, flows through me. I feel connected to life all around. To have sunk below the superstructure of my human identity: To have sunk deeper into life than my life-form, my body, than my species: To have made contact with the primordial…
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Good Sex
Sex. The sex is good. The sex is the best sex I’ve ever had, and it’s introspective: What moves in me, deeper than the superstructure of my psychology: the fascination to dominate and penetrate: Deeper than what my name is and who I am: Deeper than what your name is and who you are: Life…
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Victimhood Junky
You don’t know me. In your arrogance, you make assumptions about my every intention and thought, but you don’t know me. You know only your worst fears about me, or versions of me you extrapolate from things that used to be true about me. We never really meet either. Our “conversations” are mostly you playing…
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He thinks that he thinks
He thinks that he thinks. He thought that he thought. But the thinking isn’t his. The thoughts belong to none. Sel-arising thoughts belong to noone. He that he thought. But there is no him. All that is, is all there ever is. He thinks that thinks. o the fool, o no. he fool, o no.…
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Loving the Pain to Light
Hey locked vault of unwanted feelings, I sing to you this love song. You are welcome in my heart. Hey locked vault of unwanted feelings, all pent up: you are welcome in my heart. I am ready to feel you fully and allow you so pass through me. Hey locked vault in me, filled with…
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Just be.
There’s no one… …to love you, to acknowledge you, to save you. There is no thing… … to fulfill you, to claim, to value or give meaning. Here is all you have. Now is the only moment there is. Be grateful for each breath. Just be. Without identity, presence is self-fulfilled.
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Spontaneously Self-Manifesting
None of these spontaneously self-manifesting phenomena are me or mine: not these feet, nor these legs. Not the chill of this wind. None of these spontaneously self-manifesting phenomena are me or mine: not these streets, nor the sky. Not these trees. None of these spontaneously self-manifesting phenomena are me or mine: not these hands, not…
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Transcending the Hyperboloid of Single Point Sentience
We are portals. Speech is causality: the inexorable momentum of logic executing its predetermined sequence. Be silent: be free. The existence of our psyche’s voices as phenomenal objects recurs, first as reflected echoes of the audience from which our voice arises, before the toing and froing forces stabilise into a living surface. A hyperboloid with…
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Young Falcon
Like a young fledgling falcon, perched upon the tree of mind,The wide-open empty sky is big – with nothing real to hold on to.Soaring and flight is effortless, joyful, right and free,Just this scary business of letting go of this tree of the known.Or, he could choose, follow fear deeper within the mind-tree’s shade,And pretend…
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Life Goals
I’m going to go for the treasures of the world:I’m going to go for the private home,for the beloved,the children,the family and close friends,for nature,for fulfilling work,for connection,for love.I will go for them in full knowledge,and with full-surrender to their truth:that they will be impersonal,that they will be temporary,that they will not fully fulfill,And if…
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Me and You
You fill me today. I see you and feel you everywhere and in all my being. I feel love and sadness and regret. Around this deep unmoving place – like petals – a fierce love for all this pain. And compassion like urgent morning light. I understand it is a journey away from you and…
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Nothing Belongs to me
Nothing belongs to me,Self-manifesting phenomena,arise and fade of their own accord.Claimed: they linger unnaturally –spoiling or shriveling like dried flowers. Nothing belongs to me,I have never had a birth or death,I have never had a friend or ever been aloneI have never even taken a single breath,I have never been a disciple,I have never had…
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Spiritual Bypass
For the longest time,I survived,by tethering my desire to live,to one fantasy of love fulfilled,that was the ever-frozen dawnon the dark horizon of my life. It gave me strength but kept me weak.To love an image in time more,than you love yourself now,is a dangerous predicament. That tether that was my life-line,was an anchor into…
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Loveless Brat
I didn’t love you. You had not fulfilled all the required conditions of my conditional love for you. I may learn to forgive you and my anger may subside. However, every time I’m reminded of how you’ve failed to meet my expectations – whether I’ve communicated them or not – my rage swells up, throwing…
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A Conversation of None
It’s subtle,but our hearts,they talk to each other,on a level deeper than time, space, or life. Sometimes it’s all I hear. Sometimes I forget it’s here.When I’m in that space with you,a communion of hearts,all the small things: the details of this life, are tiny blinks in time,but I remember the slow and constant things,I…
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Small-Talk
what is this substance that causes sufferingin the many stratified states of gross, ordinary, and subtle consciousness, what is it that gives experience its original pain? that which has debased the sacred mystery and eternal flow of lifeinto a tedious procession of repeating objects and known experiences,become a subject of cyclical behaviors and chain reactionssuffocating…
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What does formlessness look like?
What does formlessness look like? You won’t find it anywhere in experience. You can only look with heart-eyes within. Retrace your steps, and find that no one and nothing was ever waiting for you. It is only here and it is only now. Smile, loneliness was of the body, it will never visit you again. Countless and incredible are…
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Sighing Heart
In intimate lonely moments, my heart gives a little sigh. The intensity of time; its relentless haste, and my heart, anxious to live and not miss, the full potential of a fully lived life, sighs at the potential in the moment that it can feel but not express. Time moves us swiftly on a ballistic…