Dear Life,
Forgive for me rejecting you. Unbearable suffering drove me mad, and in a tantrum of ingratitude, I lust for a swift, sweet death.
I am angry at you. so angry at you life, and my anger is ok. It is permitted.
God has granted me mercy and forgiveness for my identification with form and my every mistake. How much more so must I be merciful and compassionate with myself and let go of my silly little self-judgments.
I’m as unconscious as a potato, and it’s ok.
There is this deep despair, that love has forever passed this life by. That loveless existence is all there ever will be. That this life, that has never known love, will never know love. This core belief strangles by my hope, my trust, my joy, and my will to live. Making me cruel and bitter and hopeless too.
That this person that has never known love; will never know love. That God and Self have rejected me forever.