I’m becoming aware of how I constantly beat myself down,
I wasn’t aware of how bad things had gotten,
how this unconscious habit had become so constant it barely registers in my mind.
I’m so bruised and broken from it I can hardly breathe,
my whole psyche and spirit is so demoralized with my own self-rejection and harsh reprimand and judgment it weakens the flow of life in my body and destroys the gift of unrationed reasonless spontaneous joy of being self-fulfilled: joy for nothing at all.
and I can just stop.
It’s so easy.
Just stop.
And, be kind.
All form is imperfect, and must be.
For perfection that we are can never be form.
Of course, with what was lived through my personality is disordered:
if it others reject it let me not follow their example. Let me find a deeper love and true self-compassion.
Ego-based society of individuals glorifies and immortalizes persons as causes: honouring the named and expressive above nameless silence and ignoring the totality of vectors that make all events impersonal expressions of One Being.
Shame and Blame and Wrongness is all of form: of identity with form and ideas of how form should be.
We are not form. We are not our persons.
Instead be the loving absence in which form can naturally be loved.