-
Ignore me.
Oh Awareness! Ignore me! You are not this person: You are not this I. Does this life story still entertain you? This closed loop whose end is predetermined? You who have reveled in open boundless mystery? Oh Awareness! Ignore me! You are not this person. You are not this I. Let go of me! Let…
-
True Love Simply Fulfilled
I wish a heart’s prayer to you my love: grant me a taste of that heaven above, Please Beloved, turn within. I am always with you. ever within you. Here and now, I am with you,
-
Futility of Self-Will
Fuck the beautiful mind. All its concieted eloquence. There are no right actions to be taken or prescribed. Whenever self-will manifests and moves, the shadow of the remaining fraction of unclaimed non-self moves against it as the force of drag. As with any fluid medium, consciousness can only move in and against itself. There is…
-
Mind Baiting the Soul
Even in the fantasy mind offers as the fulfillment of all my personal desires – as a baited to hook to remain identified with thought and feed it energy – it uses the bait of fame, and total respect, admiration, and reception. But in the field of awareness, every daisy bows only to the sun,…
-
You’re a child of Love
Somewhere inside, some wrong message, keeps repeating and, – mind-identified, – I keep listening: that I’m not worthy, that I don’t deserve better. cuz I am wrong, cuz I’m not divine and that’s the how and why: how I rationalize, all my past abuses were personally meant for me? (confusing the intensity of experience for…
-
The dysfunctional adult at work.
As an adult, I get into a lot of interpersonal conflicts. Thankfully, I didn’t get to 35 without some self-awareness. I know I am different. I know I am what some polite people call an intense personality, or a difficult character, and what more honest people call unhinged, weird, or crazy. But you know what?…
-
The Right to Exist
the right to exist, the unwanted child, must give to them self, or, live dyingly: bleeding out their own presence, from every scenario and situation, until paler and paler, their truth vanishes into whispering dust.
-
Plateau
There comes a point in therapy, where no further healing can occur through the personality. A point where a stable, conscious ego has arisen out of the tidal danger of the subconscious. And yet, where the ocean of inner information still carries the magnetic knotted loops of thought and psychic energy that distort the natural…
-
You & I
Speak. What is there to say? Words rip apart the unity of silent presence into voice and audience: into You and I. So long as you take yourself to be this continuum of thoughts, speaking your heart is how you give yourself back to silence. Do not be ashamed, let yourself be received into grace,…
-
You are worthy
Past experiences and self-image are irrelevant. The absolute value of this beingness that you are is ever self-evident. In the here and now – be now with your Self now, and open to, acknowledge, and receive your own all-transcending worth. Welcome and receive with warm gratitude your own presence this moment forever. Take no position…
-
Piled Rubble
I fell apart again. Behind closed door, without need to perform, I let the body lay on the floor, like piled rubble. It really is from day to day, that the life in me rolls into motion, or sometimes not, and then exhausted, collapses, into an impersonal open blankness: like an empty ruin without roof.…
-
Ongoing Research notes: Vagus Nerve stimulation
When in fight or flight it’s very hard to be conscious enough to move yourself out of the continuum of contracted life-form focused survival consciousness. So the witnessing distance to observe and respond rather than react can’t activate. So if “triggers” are things that put us back into fight or flight – “glimmers” take us…
-
A lineage of abused-abusers
When a psychic indulges in sexual fantasy, real energy is transacted. On some level I even knew but was too self-absorbed to care. So to my horror, I am an astral rapist. Putting it into words – draws into light – a thread of unconscious violence – that running through the tapestry of human consciousness…
-
Count not the chain of flowers.
The faces and names of this life’s time-tale: are just this season’s flowers. Their “he did”s, and “she did”s: impersonal toing and froing in the wind. The unseen ground, beneath the field of display, from which the dances of all these lives and deaths arises: beyond all seasons, beyond all time, unknowable by face nor…
-
Pick Up Lines
All your lofty wishes, and your most tender heart-felt prayers, are just sexual frustration, and demands for gratification: just sleazy fuck-talk and pick-up lines. You can not molest the beloved with the filthy fingers of self-will, nor woo her with the gutter-words of your linguistic consciousness: far too crude, far too shallow. All your asking,…
-
Mocking Telamon
Once upon a time, Great spirit took the form of Sky bird. It flew far, through many plains of being; planetary dimensions, and saw many strange and marvelous things. Through sky upon sky: through many mandala gateways, the cosmic winds are slowly enriched with the countless vibrational blessing-cursing-flavours of untold psychic pollens from many lands.…
-
There is no one here.
In all the emotional abuse: the violent and destructive words, and, the spectacle of unconscious human drama, that heaves and vomits up the untamed subconscious into display, yeah, in all this, there is no one here. All these thoughts, words, and deeds are empty of self. These bodies, personalities, and compulsions are empty of self.…
-
To Our One Presence
One presence: Our presence. A room full of faces, like a field full of flowers, or a tree full of fruit: one presence through all. The one presence in all – in one and all. all and one. What names are there to call? What faces are there to exchange a smile? Who speaks through…
-
Life Goals
To be in the thrall of a goal, and look through the lens of purpose, is to walk through a maze, of projections and shadows, of walls and ways that thwart and aid you. To surrender it all, is to walk on open plain, surrounded only, by the presence of God, whose living spirit guides…
-
Lovewell
There’s a darkness in this house. The taint of misdeeds registered in omniscience but to which the personal psyches of the family have built a psychic wall. The price paid by the children for the selfishness of the parents. My grandfather’s well of love was empty, dark, and dry. And try as she might my…
-
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know? This can’t be known. This vast and open spaciousness: the womb of all beauty, can not be admired. This vast silence: ever listening, can not be heard. This unborn and empty absence: eternally omnipresent, can never be embraced. This unconditional love, overflowing for all forms, can not be adored. This eternal instance:…
-
Re-Parenting Inner children.
This page: https://www.abandonment.net/are-you-alone-stuck-in-a-pattern-and-cant-get-out-10-ways-out – really summed up the active trauma loop I am re-living over and over again. I’ve never had a long-term relationship, my issues is with jobs! I get fired or let go continuously. I seem to always engineer a situation where I am kicked out. This video on abandonment as a cumulative…