This page: https://www.abandonment.net/are-you-alone-stuck-in-a-pattern-and-cant-get-out-10-ways-out – really summed up the active trauma loop I am re-living over and over again. I’ve never had a long-term relationship, my issues is with jobs! I get fired or let go continuously. I seem to always engineer a situation where I am kicked out. This video on abandonment as a cumulative wound gives deeper insight into abandonment and how to counter it – dialogue with your inner child.
Books to look into:
Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608683141/
The Abandonment Recovery Workbook: Guidance through the Five Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss – https://www.amazon.com/Abandonment-Recovery-Workbook-Guidance-Heartbreak/dp/160868427X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1465240473&sr=8-1&keywords=abandonment+workbook
Her suggestions include:
tracking your feelings – ACTION make a google sheets feelings tracker sheet with vertical being date and time. Horizontal being feelings on a spectrum.
describing feelings in 3 adjectives (comments part of spread sheet)
acknowledge your own needs: list them, and imagine if someone else in our lives have the same need, and consider.. if they had that need is it too much or can we help and support them?
Self Care: helps let us tell our body and soul that we care and they matter. List things help you feel nurtured. Help me feel soothed. Schedule self-nurture hour once a day.
Let people in. Be open and sincere with others you trust.
Set healthy boundaries. Go back to your list of needs and self-care, if something being asked isn’t aligned with that – say no.
Here is her booklist: https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton