Somewhere inside,
some wrong message,
keeps repeating
and, – mind-identified, –
I keep listening:
that I’m not worthy,
that I don’t deserve better.
cuz I am wrong,
cuz I’m not divine
and that’s the how and why:
how I rationalize,
all my past abuses were personally meant for me?
(confusing the intensity of experience for as personal significance)
So in my mind,
there’s no point fighting,
the apparent inevitability,
of all my self-destructive habits.
Why fight the momentum,
when, after all,
I’m not worth a new direction?
So locked-in-to “I can’t do better”,
so locked-in these cycles of despair,
keeping me low vibrating,
on the edge of fully present,
in a blurry dream misty stories.
So locked-in these ever-churning chains of thought…
So locked in my head.
Wrong action from wrong thinking:
Time to re-design my interior?
Re-embed right messaging?
That I am manifest from source,
created by love perfectly,
a child of love.
And in this well-tended nest,
of right ideas and right thinking,
will this empty egg hatch?
and melt it’s soaring yolk
into boundless space?